Have you been thinking about your special gift? Contemplating your message to the world? In my last post I cheered hard for you to recognize your special gift and take action to send it into the world.
Now, I realize that 10 days might not be enough time to be in full execution mode, but I’m curious, has your inner voice done any work to shut you down?
My experience has been that immediately after I make that decision to make a change, my brain goes into rapid fire-bombing mode on that choice.
“What if I fail?”
“You’ve done this before, it didn’t work the last time and it’s not going to this time.”
“You don’t have what it takes.”
“What will my significant other, family or friends think?”
“I’m really ok-I’ve got all that I could ever need.”
“I don’t deserve that kind of success.”
Your conscious mind is going to do everything it can to keep you in the same safe, comfortable place you’re in right now. The fear of the unknown might stop you before you ever start.
Here’s the reality of that choice: the warning signals of your inner voice are working to protect you. Making a change is going to cost you.
You may have to break up with a part or all of your current life.
If you want something you’ve never had before you have to do something you’ve never done before.
What got you here won’t get you there.
What is the enemy of great? It’s not the exact opposite. It’s not the deep valleys, the bad times or when we are in physical or emotional pain.
The enemy of great is good. It’s being OK, of being comfortable. It’s the big screen TV and the newest smartphone. It’s knowing you can keep surviving on how you’ve been living. It’s playing it safe. No risks, no dreams, no sharing your gifts.
Yet if you’re ready to do your special thing, create your message to the world or take your life to a higher level, then it’s your season of change. You may have to give up your good life for a great life.
What got you here won’t get you there.
Can you feel the resistance? Changing, being uncertain about the future, that’s not easy to do.
You have changed before. I am so thankful I am not the same person I was at 16 or 22 or even 45. Take a moment to reflect back on those pivots in your life. Those times you did make a change. What were the circumstances surrounding your new choice?
Could it be that when you strip back all of the layers of distraction and the ways that we dull our emotions that maybe you had a pain point in the comfort of your life?
Is there a pain point in your life right now?
What keeps you up at night? What nudges you in the shower or while driving?
Strange as it may sound, I’m going to invite you to make friends with the pain. Find that pain point and visit it, write it down, share it with your best friend.
Wondering about my pain point?
What I would title the single biggest event that has shifted me in countless ways in the last 5 years?
Here it is. At my daughter’s wedding, I got completely and totally over intoxicated. Like in the bride’s room throwing up, missing one of the most important days of my oldest daughter’s life, not handling myself AT ALL drunk.
Was it intentional? NO.
Was it a surprise? NO.
Afterward, when I analyzed the volume of alcohol paired with the emotions and excitement and lack of food I’d had that day, 10 out of 10 times I would have landed in the exact same state.
Was in preventable? YES
Do I regret it? YES
There aren’t many choices in my life I regret. And I’ve certainly made some choices that came with heavy consequences. I was both a wife and mother at 19 years old. I’ve put myself in debt multiple times. I’ve said horrible things to people I love.
This day and how I behaved I regret. The fact that I don’t even have memories of some of the day, I regret.
I am so grateful that my daughter and son-in-law laughed at the incident and forgave me quickly.
Even after the two day epic hangover subsided, the pain of my choices had not. I wasn’t ready to forgive myself.
If my life is my message to the world, than my message was so completely out of sync with who I wanted to be that it literally broke my heart.
The price of your new life is your old life.
Is breaking up with 43 years of beliefs and patterns of behavior easy? NO
Did it take making new daily and intentional choices? YES
Did I lose friends in the process? YES
But the pain of change was insignificant compared to the pain of staying in the exact same spot. Change is painful, but nothing is more painful than staying where you don’t belong, living out of alignment of who and what I wanted to be in this life.
If I didn’t have enough regret about the day and perhaps lost some motivation in reinventing myself, I was thankful when my youngest daughter who also edits this blog, sent me the picture she took of my demise on my next birthday.
I saved that picture. By sharing it with you I hope it will lose it’s power.
That was five years ago. That was the beginning of changing myself from the inside out, to having the courage and determination to show up as you see me now.
#outerbeautyinnerbeast
What tugs at your heart? What causes you pain?
Don’t hide from it or ignore it! It’s your SKUD defense system against the internal voices that have started to fire-bomb your decision to show the world your gift.
It’s time to make friends with the pain. I promise it’s gonna take you places.
I needed this right now! Thank you!